I do.

I live in America, and I know that I have tons of stuff, lots of opportunity, and a relatively easy life compared to the billions of people living in what we could only consider abject poverty.

It’s hard to complain given that perspective. And I’d like to share that perspective as well as I can.

This video is about children in school in seven countries around the world. It is a stark reminder about the reality of education in the developing world.

It aired on PBS, who is so gracious to host it online.

I know it is popular right now to complain about the poor quality of our education in the US. But complaining does not help. I hope this video shows just how easy we have it here and makes your days a little brighter. The children from the poorer countries work very hard, sometimes without electricity, with no textbooks, and in addition to hours of daily chores, with no promise of it ever amounting to a better job. This is where development happens — in the hands of these courageous families (often illiterate themselves) who take on the extra financial burden of educating their children. We would do well to learn something from them.

Perhaps you would consider giving a portion of your income or your time to help the developing world. Or maybe you can just spread optimism when you hear people complaining about the state of education in your country or worrying about trivial things. Every little bit helps.

I certainly hope you don’t come away from this story feeling sorry for the children. The last thing we need in this world is more sorrow. Be glad they’re on their way — schools in a village indicate developmental progress for the country. It’s okay to be thankful for what you have, as long as you take full advantage of it and never take it for granted.

Some charities, if you wish to contribute:

• Room to Read: invest in East Asian village education. $2500 will fund one girl through ten years of school (from here).
• Peace Corps Partnership Program: Donate to a Peace Corps Volunteer’s project. There are many projects to choose from.
• Teach For America: Development is still needed in our own country. Teach for America members choose to teach in high-need schools.

The task is simple:

Hug a friend!

Hugging is not only a sign of friendship and intimacy — it also releases endorphins. That means it’s enjoyable for you and the lucky target. It can help you relax and feel connected to your friend, but more importantly remind you of what’s important to you. But you know all of this, so get out there are hug somebody.

Details:

• If they ask why you hugged them, tell them that you’re glad they’re your friend, or some other positive message.
• Extra points if their mood gets better.

I don’t mean a “I’m sick of work so I’ll change my job” way. I mean a way in which you find what’s really special and valuable about something, and help nurture and develop those parts. And by reinforcing what is beautiful and effective about the world, we can help it more courageously surmount the challenges it will inevitably face.

In this post you’ll learn to apply Appreciative Inquiry to your life. You’ll also find a hypnosis mp3 which will guide you through the Appreciative
Inquiry process as applied to your job and work environment.

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In order to change them, we have to understand habits a little better. Let’s look at how habits formed: As you grew up and learned to live in the world, you picked up habits through repetition. You mimicked your parents and other people around you, you did what you were told (or the opposite), and you came up with some habits on your own. Your habits stick with you throughout your life, even though they were chosen in a way that looks random when you look back on it. You couldn’t choose your parents, you didn’t choose what your teacher yelled at you for, and you didn’t have as much experience as you have now.Basically, your mental software was written through a glorious, convoluted process of haphazard trial and error.

The reason habits are difficult to get rid of is that they, at one time, had a useful, positive function. Maybe cursing made you “cool” at school — it afforded you a certain social status. Complaining made your parents give you a piece of candy. Your individual needs brought them about. But your world has changed, and those habits are no longer effective. You still associate being cool with cursing, and complaining with getting what you want. Your habits, at some time or another, actually came in handy. They may not come in handy anymore. They may not be the most effective way of doing what needs to be done. They may not be socially acceptable. But you’ve still got ‘em — and you want ‘em gone.

But you can’t just get rid of them. They won’t go away. Complaining will go away as soon as you can stop wanting something you don’t have — which isn’t going to happen. For years you have followed the pattern “want something I don’t have so complain”. The desire and the behavior are linked up in your mind. And if that’s the only way you know how to ask for stuff from other people, if you get rid of the habit, you’ll have nothing to satisfy your existential needs with. That’s why it’s so tough to get rid of them.

The key is to replace your habits with new, more effective habits. If you find something that works better than cursing to get people to pay attention to you, your mind will naturally use that one more. And cursing will naturally die off because it is no longer needed. So how do you do that, you ask? Use the Six Step Reframe, or 6SR for short.

The Six Step Reframe was at one point a central technique in Neurolinguistic Programming. It harnesses the power of reframing your habits to loosen them up, then replaces them with more effective behaviors of your choosing. I have used it many times to enhance my habits. When done correctly, it not only gets rid of bad habits, it can catapult your thinking into win/win strategies and a more positive outlook on yourself. All it requires is a bit of creativity, some intuition, and an imagination.
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Will designed a solution in the form of a simple purple bracelet, which he offered to his congregation with a challenge: go 21 days without complaining. Each time one of them complained, they had to switch the bracelet to their other wrist and start again from day 0. It was simple but effective metacognitive awareness training.

You give yourself feedback when you complain — your mind learns. A simple and effective metacognitive feedback loop.

This is a variant of Aleister Crowley’s exercise — he proposes that you carry around a pair of scissors and stab yourself in the hand every time you speak about yourself. I prefer the bracelet version, which is just as effective. You don’t need negative feedback, only consistent feedback. In this post, I examine some guidelines for setting up a feedback exercise for yourself.

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